BECAUSE HE CAN’T SWIM, MILTON LIVES IN CONSTANT FEAR OF BEING PUSHED INTO THE WATER BY HIS BUDDIES.
IT WAS DURING COLLEGE THAT CAROL’S POLITICAL BELIEFS TOOK A DRAMATIC TURN TO THE LEFT.
DONNIE SWORE IF ONE MORE PERSON ASKED WHAT WAS EATING HIM, HE WAS GOING TO LOSE IT.
IT’S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO FIND A STRAIGHT TREE AROUND HERE ANYMORE, THOUGHT LINDA.
SEPARATED SHORTLY AFTER BIRTH, FRANK WAS STILL ANGRY THAT BOB COULD GROW BRANCHES AND HE COULDN’T. TO COMPENSATE, FRANK CONSTANTLY REMINDED HIMSELF THAT HE WAS THINNER THAN BOB.
JIM WAS PLEASED THAT MOST OF THE OTHER TREES ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT HE OPENLY PRACTICED HIS RELIGIOUS BELIEFS.
AROUND 1 AM EACH NIGHT, THE BEARS SECRETLY PLAYED TOUCH FOOTBALL. FRED DIDN’T DARE OBJECT WHEN THEY TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO BE THE GOAL POSTS.
CONNIE HAS BEEN WAITING 56 YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO HANG A SWING FROM HER PERFECTLY FORMED BRANCH. SHE NEVER SAID A WORD, BUT WONDERED WHAT LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF SHE HAD BEEN RAISED IN THE SUBURBS.
IRWIN KNEW HE WASN’T LIKE THE OTHER TREES.
SARAH STAYED GREEN ALL YEAR. SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS BETTER THAN HER NEIGHBORS, WHOM SHE CONSIDERED FLIGHTY.
‘AT LEAST I’M NOT EDGAR’, THOUGHT BIG BALLS BILLY.